Sunday's suck.

Tomorrow marks 4 weeks since we started this 25 week long journey. Ya'll are probably tired of hearing my talk about it but, I don't care. I'm so proud and so scared at the same time. That fear of him being gone, me on my own, it hasn't seemed to go away. Sunday's are the worst. I'm so busy all day with church, life group, the kids, waiting for him phone call. When it hits evening time, I'm so exhausted emotionally that I just want to cry and eat buckets of ice cream. Next week will be even harder since it's mother's day. I know it sounds whiny and dumb but since the kids are too young to know it's mother's day and Bryce isn't home to help them, I'll spend the day seeing every other mom's facebook pictures of flowers and chocolates and jewelry and other sweet gifts that someone who loves them, gave them. It hurts. I didn't think it'd bother but the closer it gets, the more it hurts. I just want him home to remind me that I'm loved. I don't want to hear it from everyone else. I want him home to tell me. I want him to hug me and tell me I'm doing a good job and that he's proud of me. Why did God send him at this point in time? Why did he wait til things were practically perfect in our marriage to separate us? Why didn't we get more time to be together? I feel like he left and I'm stuck here picking up the pieces. Trying to hold it together. Tonight I'm full of complaints and tears. Tonight it sucks. But tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow the exhaustion will fade away. 6 more sundays of this and then I'll get to hug him again. I can make it.