Jace's first haircut!

Today I bit the bullet and took Jace to get his first haircut. I had been putting it off and putting it off because I was nervous and scared to see my little baby look like a little kid. I must say now that it's over and done with, I'm glad we did it. He went from having a mini mullet and looking like polished little man. =)

The before pictures, front and back of the mullet!

Sitting up in the chair by himself like a big boy!

Look at the handsome little fellow! =) Can't believe how much older he looks! =)

Daddy's little helper

Bryce got a new "workout" machine thingy. As he was putting it together Jace decided he needed to be a handyman as well and help his daddy. It was the sweetest thing ever!

Jace then decided that one of the parts was a toy and he needed to carry it around. This little boy always finds a way to make me smile and forget all the stupid little things I get upset over each day!

Rock and Worship Roadshow

Last night we had the amazing opportunity to go to the Rock and Worship Roadshow for the second year in a row. Last year I was just starting to figure out what I wanted out of my life. Bryce and I were just dating. We had really started going to church together on a weekly basis. I thought that I was ready to commit my life to following Christ. Since last year I have grown up. I thought I had put all my past mistakes behind me and moved forward. The past month I have been troubled by my past. I've felt guilty for what I put my parents and family through my freshman year. I've felt ashamed of being a teen mom. I've felt anger about my childhood. It has held me down from moving forward in my life. At the concert Bart Millard, lead singer of MercyMe, preached about the very thing I've been thinking/feeling. He proclaimed that we are not our sins. Christ did not die on that cross for nothing. He died for our sins. He died for my sins. Yes we sin but God still loves us no matter what. We cannot forget that he has unconditional love for each and everyone of us. Bart talked about how even if his child made horrible choices and was sentenced to jail, he would still love him. For some reason that hit me hard. Even though I have my "daddy issues" and I became a mom wayy too young, God loves me still. God thinks I am worth his time and effort. If he didn't think I was worth it he wouldn't have given me a healthy, smart little boy. He wouldn't have given me a great husband and a job to help pay for our needs. God wouldn't have given me the opportunity or the strength to go to Medical Assisting school. I am worth being loved. I am worthy enough to have good brought into my life no matter how much I've screwed up and hurt those around me. I feel as if I can finally forgive myself completely.

Last night was the first time I heard of Luminate. Oh man did they win me over! They were so much fun on stage and their song Heal this Home (see above video) really spoke to me. "But God restores and opens doors to the love, to the life they’re looking for Sometimes you gotta let go That’s when love can grow So let the tears fall down Oh, in your weakness God is strong He’s been there all along and He’s holding you right now" That one phrase brought tears to my eyes and I will never forget the feeling of hope and love it gave me. 

Me and two of their members! =)

To show my love and appreciation for the band, I bought one of their shirts and got it signed

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Stuck

What do you do when you feel stuck? What do you do when you have opportunities ahead of you and plenty of choices but you don't know which ones to take or what to do? 

Who do you lean on when you feel like there's no one really there for you? Who do you go to to get the big hug you've needed?

So many questions, ideas, and feeling going through me right now. I feel so overwhelmed and covered and I don't know how to get out from all of this. I feel like I'm stuck in a ditch with only myself to help me get out.

Last Day of Class!

Woohoo! I finally made it. Today is my last day in the classroom. Starting Moday I'll start my extern at a small family practice in Tumwater. Thinking back 7 months ago I thought that I would never make it to today and now here I am studying for my last test, starting to say "see ya laters" and wishing I could get to see these lovely people I consider to be friends more often after class. Although I'll miss the people I won't miss the schooling.

I finally feel proud of myself. I made it through schooling successfully. I've worked hard at work and even harder at school. I've missed firsts of Jace's and I've missed hours of family to go to school and study. Those time I can never get back and I grieve the time I've lost with Jace and Bryce but I've got to remind myself that I did this for them. I went through this schooling to provide a better life for them. Now that I'm almost done, I can spend some more time with Jace and I can finally give him the best childhood possible!

Just an update

I have 2 days left of class and then I'm done except for my extern. What am I supposed to do with my time?! I've finished my homework and if I study for my test anymore I'll explode! Maybe it's time to get a hobby...

On another note, Bryce has started a new 3-days on, 4-days off diet. Hopefully this will help him lose the few pounds he needs for the Marines. He is also exercising. I just wish I wasn't such a baby and I could exercise with him. Maybe someday.

Jace has hit his terrible 2's. I thought we were just having a rough day but after a few consecutive days of tantrums and hitting and screaming, I've had to think otherwise. I feel as if timeouts, spanking, holding and rocking, and turning his attention to other things is doing nothing at all! Hopefully this stage doesn't last too long.

Sincerely,
Emily =)