I am lucky.

Tessa is 2 weeks old today. She is such a joy in our lives! Every other night seems to be a challenge but oddly enough I don't mind missing out on sleep to take care of my daughter. She is starting to smile at us and "talk". We got the go ahead to let her sleep as long as she likes at night and Bryce and I both could not be happier to not have to set our alarm to wake us up every 3 hours to feed her. =) Jace is a great big brother. He loves his sister and gets so excited each time he gets to help feeding her or holding her. He hasn't learned just yet that he has to use an inside voice now but I know he'll get it soon.

After I had Jace I didn't have an issue right away with how my body looked. I had more weight around my hips, stretch marks on my belly, and I wasn't the skinniest thing around my belly. It never bothered me that I didn't have the perfect body anymore or that I would never wear a bikini again. For some reason I've been having a hard time with my body image since having Tessa. I hate that my belly is bigger than I want. I still have stretch marks. I'm even counting down the days until I can start working out. (28 days!!) Tonight I was Pinterest looking at postpartum tips and tricks of every kind. I came across this picture of a women's belly. It was full of stretch marks and beside it wrote, "For every woman unhappy with her postpartum marks, is another who wishes she had them." This got me thinking. I am lucky to have been given the chance to grow two children inside me. I am lucky that I have these marks because it means my body grew and stretched to great lengths to give my babies a home until they were ready to meet this world. I struggled with postpartum anxiety and depression after having Jace and I worry that I'll struggle with it again this time around. I need to keep reminding myself that I am lucky. There are so many women out there who would make amazing mothers but for some reason God has not gifted them the opportunity to bare child. I am lucky I was given the chance to carrying my two babies. Yes, my body may not be the most pleasing to the eyes but it was my children's home and those marks are a reminder to me that I'm lucky.

Welcome to the World Baby Tessa!

On January 8th, at 10:32am, Tessa Ivie Lynn joined our family. She weighed 7 pounds and 11 ounces and was 19 3/4 inches long. She is perfect in every way!!

We had waited for this beautiful girl to arrive for a long time. I was one week overdue before I got induced and it couldn't have come any faster!! We checked into the hospital at 7am. I made the mistake of not taking a tour of the hospital before hand so we had pretty much no clue as to where to go! It was kinda embarrassing. Once we found where we needed to go we got put into what they called the nicest delivery room. (Same thing happened when I went into labor with jace. ;) lucky me!) After an hour of paperwork, vital sign checks, and an IV put in, they started the Pitocin! That instantly put my contractions at uncomfortable every 5 minutes. Perfect right? Labor is going, things are good. Well my doctor said "lets step it up another notch and break your water!" I was thinking in mind that he better not go too far away because with Jace, once my water broke it wasn't long before he arrived! So Pitocin at 8, water broken at 830. I started pushing at 10:25am and with a push and a half Miss Tessa arrived. =) My doctor actually almost missed the delivery. The nurse wanted me to do a practice push to see how fast we needed the doctor and she was like "oh! better get him here asap!!" Talk about an easy labor right?! I definitely got lucky with my labor which is good because if I had a tough time after having such a tough pregnancy, I don't know if I would ever consider having more kids!

Not that there was anything wrong with Tessa, she was healthy, I told Bryce he had to stay by her side no matter what. So while she got measured, bathed, and looked at Bryce was right there by her side so she knew that her daddy was around. =) Tessa also decided that since we had pretty much forced her to come that she needed to let us know all about it! She cried almost nonstop for the first 2 hours of her life. Since she came so fast her body didn't have the proper time to adjust to life outside of the womb, her sinuses were FULL of amniotic fluid which caused her to snort and snore and breath funny. There wasn't much we could do for her for it other than wait for it to clear up on its own. We did end up trying saline drops in each nostril and that helped her out TONS!

Jace had stayed with my sister and her husband while we were in the hospital so later that afternoon they brought him by the hospital and Jace got to meet his little sister. =) He was excited for the first few minutes and then he was ready to go play with toys.

Having two children at home now is trying at times but I am so happy that my family is complete and we are all healthy. =)

My mom loves being a Grandmama to so many kids now. 

Daddy's and their babies. The cousins are only 6 weeks apart. 

All ready to go home! Yes she has little shoes on. =)

And she's out for the count!

Marine Corps, fish, Tessa, RN

I know it's been forever since I've updated my blog. My apologies!! Since I've last written so many great and wonderful things have happened. Bryce graduated high school. Jace turned 2! I stopped working to be a stay at home mommy. And we have all moved to just north of Fort Worth, TX.

Bryce has been working out and preparing his mind and body to join the US Marine Corps. He arrived here in Texas 2 weeks ago and only talked to the recruiter 10 days ago but he has already signed the papers and gone through most of the initial testing before he leaves to boot camp. From what the Master Sargent at the recruiter said Bryce will be leaving the first week in December for boot camp in San Diego. Words cannot describe how proud I am of him. Life has thrown him so many fire balls and each time he has come out even stronger. I can honestly say that he is my hero, my best friend, and someone I look forward to growing old together with. =)

Jace has grown like a weed! He loves anything to do with fish and cars. If it were up to Jace we would only watch Finding Nemo during the day. =) Each day he finds some way to remind me just how lucky I am to be a mom to such a sweet little boy. He already has been giving my baby belly hugs and kisses and telling the baby he can't wait to meet her. =) It's so precious and I know he'll be a great big brother.

Our due date is January 1st, 2014. In my ultrasound yesterday, the doctor did a quick little look and he believes we will be blessed with a baby girl. =) Bryce and I are both so excited! When we were pregnant with Jace we we're hoping with a girl but we were given a handsome little boy. So, we finally get our girl! Hopefully! I do have another ultrasound in 2 weeks to confirm. She is very active! Most of the day she's dancing around and kicking. In the mornings when I wake up but I don't really wanna get up and doing anything just yet, little Tessa always starts kicking and moving around to get me moving. =)

I haven't been up to much other than being a mom. I look forward to going back to school for my RN once the baby is here. Our apartment complex is right across the street from a community college and after some research I've figured out I can do one semester of prerequisites and then it's only 2 years of school and a BIG test and I'll have my RN. =) I am so excited to be moving forward on my own schooling and career.

I do want to say thank you to anyone and everyone who has prayed or thought good thoughts for my family. It has been a hard few months with moving and trying to find our feet but things are finally starting to smooth out and I am so grateful for everything!

April and May Update!

So the past month has been great!! I have officially graduated from school. Bryce is on track to graduate from high school and Jace is going to be a big brother! =) That's right, Bryce and I are expecting our second little bundle of joy! We were shocked at first but we couldn't be happier. My due date is New Years Day, 2014. =) Although Bryce will miss most of the pregnancy due to boot camp and other training, he should be home just in time for the baby to arrive.

Our first ultrasound picture at 7 weeks 5 days!

On another note, this last weekend was quite full for us. Friday we were invited to the Hawks Prairie Rotary club for a luncheon where Bryce received the Hawks Prairie Hero Award for senior graduating under extraordinary circumstances and a $500 check to help with our future. I could not have been more proud of him for it! He has gone through two deployments of his dad and two injuries on top of that. He's maintained a decent GPA while helping raise our son and maintained a successful marriage. How many other 18 year olds do you know that could face such hardship and continue to keep smiling!

The following Saturday was our Senior Prom. It was so nice to get all dressed up and act my age for a few hours. I didn't need to worry about doing laundry, changing diapers, making sure Jace isn't coloring all over himself with markers, or going to work to provide for my family. I got to dance, have fun and be a regular 18 year old kid. Although it was nice to forget about life's worries for a night, I wouldn't change my life for anything. I would never trade in my husband or my son. They are the one things that keep me going each and every day.

Jace is growing like a weed! He's into 2T clothes and size 7 toddler shoes. He just got a new toddler bed! The first night was rough. He spent 45 minutes sitting by his door with his pillow and blanket crying and knocking on the door asking us to let him out. The next day for nap time he cried as Bryce left the room and then he stopped and that was the last of the roughness. He now loves to play in his room when he wakes up and even has learned how to open his door to knock on our to wake us up. =) He is definitely a smart little cookie!

Jace's first haircut!

Today I bit the bullet and took Jace to get his first haircut. I had been putting it off and putting it off because I was nervous and scared to see my little baby look like a little kid. I must say now that it's over and done with, I'm glad we did it. He went from having a mini mullet and looking like polished little man. =)

The before pictures, front and back of the mullet!

Sitting up in the chair by himself like a big boy!

Look at the handsome little fellow! =) Can't believe how much older he looks! =)

Daddy's little helper

Bryce got a new "workout" machine thingy. As he was putting it together Jace decided he needed to be a handyman as well and help his daddy. It was the sweetest thing ever!

Jace then decided that one of the parts was a toy and he needed to carry it around. This little boy always finds a way to make me smile and forget all the stupid little things I get upset over each day!

Rock and Worship Roadshow

Last night we had the amazing opportunity to go to the Rock and Worship Roadshow for the second year in a row. Last year I was just starting to figure out what I wanted out of my life. Bryce and I were just dating. We had really started going to church together on a weekly basis. I thought that I was ready to commit my life to following Christ. Since last year I have grown up. I thought I had put all my past mistakes behind me and moved forward. The past month I have been troubled by my past. I've felt guilty for what I put my parents and family through my freshman year. I've felt ashamed of being a teen mom. I've felt anger about my childhood. It has held me down from moving forward in my life. At the concert Bart Millard, lead singer of MercyMe, preached about the very thing I've been thinking/feeling. He proclaimed that we are not our sins. Christ did not die on that cross for nothing. He died for our sins. He died for my sins. Yes we sin but God still loves us no matter what. We cannot forget that he has unconditional love for each and everyone of us. Bart talked about how even if his child made horrible choices and was sentenced to jail, he would still love him. For some reason that hit me hard. Even though I have my "daddy issues" and I became a mom wayy too young, God loves me still. God thinks I am worth his time and effort. If he didn't think I was worth it he wouldn't have given me a healthy, smart little boy. He wouldn't have given me a great husband and a job to help pay for our needs. God wouldn't have given me the opportunity or the strength to go to Medical Assisting school. I am worth being loved. I am worthy enough to have good brought into my life no matter how much I've screwed up and hurt those around me. I feel as if I can finally forgive myself completely.

Last night was the first time I heard of Luminate. Oh man did they win me over! They were so much fun on stage and their song Heal this Home (see above video) really spoke to me. "But God restores and opens doors to the love, to the life they’re looking for Sometimes you gotta let go That’s when love can grow So let the tears fall down Oh, in your weakness God is strong He’s been there all along and He’s holding you right now" That one phrase brought tears to my eyes and I will never forget the feeling of hope and love it gave me. 

Me and two of their members! =)

To show my love and appreciation for the band, I bought one of their shirts and got it signed

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